Back in July we took a family trip to Iowa! The trip was inspired because one of Stephen’s best friends from high school was getting married and rather than just have Stephen go all that way for a weekend, we thought it would be fun to go as a family and make a vacation of it! Stephen's parents had the idea to make the first part of the week a family reunion in Chicago, so after arriving in Iowa late Saturday night, we drove to Chicago, picked up his sister Sarah from the airport, and then all stayed together in an air B&B in the Ukrainian Village part of the city for a couple days! 

Spending Monday through Thursday in Chicago was a ton of fun! We're not really big planners, so although I asked a few friends for recommendations of what to do while we were there, we didn't have anything specific planned ahead of time and mostly figured it out as we went! (Except going to Shedd Aquarium, Stephen was very adamant and excited about taking the kids to one of his all-time favorite stops as a child, so that was a MUST.) 

We could not have been more fortunate with the weather and ended up hitting up North Avenue Beach three of the four days we were there and Lincoln Park Zoo twice 😂. Although I'm sure we missed out on a lot of typical touristy-Chicago spots and attractions (including the Bean...woops!) I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing! (Except for the fact that someone tried to steal the catalytic converter from one of Mom and Dad Olson's cars during the night, and I managed to lose my wallet and not discover that I'd lost it until we were about to head to the airport to go home...woops again! 🤪) 

Late Thursday afternoon we headed back to Iowa City for a couple days. It just so happened that while in Iowa City RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bike Race Across Iowa) came through, so Friday night we went downtown and participated in some of the evening festivities with all the bikers (as much as one can, anyway, if they choose not to drink alcohol, haha). We ended up walking back to Mom and Dad Olson's house from downtown since the shuttle was taking a long time and we were so impressed that Lydia walked the whole way (over a mile!) entirely by herself! 

Saturday was the day of the wedding and Mom and Dad Olson were so kind yet again to watch the kids for us while we drove two hours to Decorah where the wedding was held and then back (not getting home until sometime after 1 AM!). 

It really was the perfect little family summer vacation and I think we commented about how unbelievably lucky we were in regard to the weather at least three times a day! 😂 (I had been pretty worried about spending a week in the infamous Midwest humidity while being nearly 6 months pregnant, haha.) 

I made a little video of some of our trip just using my phone so the quality isn't great, but I really love some of these clips and the memories that go along with them (I just wish they showcased Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Sarah more!). Traveling with kids may be exhausting and unpredictable, but man, they sure make life so much fun!!!! 

Thanks again Mom and Dad Olson for all you did to make this trip so wonderful!!! 

_ _ _ 

han

Yesterday I read the following post in a facebook group:

This post has been in the back of my mind ever since I read it for a couple reasons. The main one being: three-years ago I could have almost written it myself.

I've told the story a million times before. I was pregnant with Lydia. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Unexcited. Quite honestly, I was dreading the day that Lydia would be born and I would assume the role of "mother." 

"Motherhood is hard" was the go-to phrase I heard over and over and over and over again during her pregnancy. I heard it so often, in fact, that not only did I grow to completely RESENT the phrase, there was a period during which I cried to Stephen almost DAILY (have you noticed I tend to cry a lot when I'm pregnant?) BEGGING him to explain WHY people intentionally have children. At all. Ever. Period.

"I don't get it!" I would say. "People seem to be endlessly bothered by their children and frequently feel the need to complain about how 'hard' it is....but yet they continue to have more children?! WHY." 

Maybe Stephen didn't know the answer to the question, or maybe he knew I wasn't in the mindset to hear the answer, but thankfully for both of us it didn't take long after Lydia was born for me to learn to answer for myself: JOY. 

In the temple we are taught to "have joy in our posterity." I don't think that phrase ever registered before Lydia was born, or at least I never gave it much thought, but over the years it has become one of my favorite parts of the endowment. The reason God wants us to have kids is because they bring joy. 

And so, to answer this random stranger on the internet's request for some "positive, happy moments with my children," here are a few ways Lydia and Elliott brought me joy (so far) today:

Lydia's appearance this morning: crazy curls escaped from her braids, wearing backwards Elmo pajama pants with her belly sticking out of the two-sizes too small pajama shirt she was wearing.

Elliott's grin and wave when I got him out of his crib.

Lydia's brainstorm on what to do while waiting for her pancakes to cool down, "Oh! We should say a prayer!" 

When Lydia requested I help her put a sleeping-eye-mask over her face.

Overhearing Lydia giggle with her friends.

Elliott's babble to himself as he patiently waited for me to get him after his morning nap.

Lydia telling me, "Mom! I'm making a PIE! It's just pretend." 

Elliott's delighted squeal when Lydia handed him the yellow balloon. 

Lydia walking over to the olive-wood Jesus carving on the bookshelf, pinching his nose and saying "HONK!"

Elliott crawling over and giving me a raspberry on my leg and then looking up at me and giggling. 

Elliott putting his head on my shoulder and arm around my neck and pulling me in for a hug.

han.

It's OCTOBER which means it's time to start thinking about Halloween costumes!!! (Totally unrelated, but it also means that I can officially say I'm due next month which is weird.) I have a love/hate relationship with the fact that we've done cute family-costumes the past two years because it's been SO much fun! ...but is also making me feel pressure to out-perform the previous two years which is going to be hard to do! (So don't count on it 😂.) I'm sure we only have a year or two left in which I'll be able to convince Lydia to wear the costume iiiiii want her to wear and not the one SHE wants to wear and I guess that's probably for the best because then it will take the pressure off. haha.

Here are some pics of last year and the year before in case you need some inspiration. I'm hoping looking through them will inspire me as well!  😂

2016: Kuzco, Yzma, and Kronk from Disney's The Emperor's New Groove

_ _ _

han.

*This post is written in partnership with My Place Hotel St. George. All opinions are my own.

I've only been to St. George a handful of times in my adult life, and if you're a long-time follower of this blog you might remember the time a few years ago when we went for a long weekend with some friends and I got bamboozled into hiking Angel's Landing. That experience has haunted me for years (😂 only kind of joking) so when Stephen and I were presented with the opportunity to go down to St. George a couple weeks ago and be hosted by My Place Hotel for a few days, I was ecstatic! . . . And also determined to stay FAR FAR away from any national parks/potential hiking situations that may come about from being in such a highly "outdoorsy" area. 

Thankfully Stephen had had the opportunity to go hiking with a friend a few weeks prior, and he also knows his wife and is a very understanding and supportive husband ;) so he didn't push me on this issue in the slightest.

(I've never been one to claim a love for hiking, as a matter of fact, I think I've made it abundantly clear that I'm NOT a fan.😂 ..Also did I mention I'm currently 6 months pregnant?)

Needless to say, we've been back from our little getaway for almost two weeks and I'm happy to report that all National Parks and subsequent "day hikes" were safely avoided and we had a FANTASTIC TIME nonetheless. 😂

Just in case you, too, are headed to St. George for a couple days and you happen to share my aversion to spending hours and hours in the hot, hot sun, huffing and puffing, stinking and sweating, all to see a 'lovely' view that could have been just as easily enjoyed by looking at a postcard (I'm certain people like me exist!) THIS POST IS FOR YOU. 

TUACAHN

I'd heard about Tuachn, St. George's outdoor live theatre, for YEARS but had never had the opportunity to attend a performance there. Although the tickets can be a little pricey, we were treating this little getaway as a "babymoon" of sorts and decided to splurge so we could finally experience outdoor live theatre with the striking red rock that almost surrounds the stage. The setting was unbeatable. We ended up getting a little more than we bargained for when it started POURING rain only a few hours before the performance. The show ended up being delayed about 40 minutes, time which we spent sitting in our seats with trash bags on as ponchos. Despite the rain and the delay, the show, as they say, "MUST GO ON!" and it did! And we were very grateful!

The acting and special effects were INCREDIBLE. The script of the particular play we saw (The Prince of Egypt) wasn't my favorite, haha, but the undeniable talent and jaw-dropping special effects (we're talking fireworks, projections, flooding the stage) AND the fact that they had live animals, was all enough to make the experience well-worth it and I would definitely go back.

Did you know that St. George is one of the fastest-growing metropolitan areas in the United States?!! I know it seems hard to believe, but it's true according to this USA Today article! As I'm sure is the case with most rapidly-growing areas, there is NO shortage of restaurants to try, and it seems like new ones are popping up all the time. Keeping with the mentality of "taking it easy" we ended up eating out for every meal, despite the fact that our hotel room had a mini-kitchen that we could have easily used for making a few quick meals. 🙈 (For the record, this is very unlike us, we're usually all about saving a few bucks!)
Overall, we loved our time in St. George and honestly can't wait for another little getaway like that one! We keep joking that literally the only thing we would have done differently was make it a few days longer! (..except, we're not joking 😜).

BOOK WITH MY PLACE HOTELS ST. GEORGE USING USING THE PROMO CODE "HANNAH15" OR CLICK ON  THIS LINK  FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS AND GET A 15% OFF DISCOUNT!! (valid through 10/17/2018) *Your stay does not need to take place in the next 30 days, it just needs to be booked!*

_ _ _
han.

It was late afternoon when I heard the news, but it took a few hours for it to really sink in. By the time Stephen arrived home from work I was sobbing. 

Lydia was playing outside while I made dinner, and in the middle of chopping up some onions I glanced over to the living room where I saw her stuffed monkey, Kiki, laying on a pillow, tucked neatly and particularly underneath one of her blankets. In that moment, the news hit me and it pushed me beyond the brink of misty-eyes and the big, heavy teardrops broke loose.

It was about that time that Stephen came in through the garage door and saw me standing in the kitchen, weeping. I could barely get out the words to explain.

Earlier that morning, one of our precious nursery girls, sweet little two-year-old Ivy, passed away in a sudden and heartbreaking accident while on a family vacation.

I got out the little information I had been told and erupted into heavy tears, again, as Stephen hugged me and processed the devastating news. 

I haven't had a lot of experiences with grief thus far in my life (for which I am truly grateful) but of the experiences I've had, none have pierced my heart quite so deeply as this one. Being a mother myself, with two children so close to Ivy's age, made this tragedy hit exceptionally close to home.

I glanced over at Kiki again and imagined coming home from a family vacation, without Lydia, walking in the house to see the particular way she had laid out her toys before we'd left. It made me shudder and an influx of tears tripped over each other and fell, overflowing from my eyes and pouring down my cheeks.

While I didn't know Ivy intimately, I did have the opportunity of spending a few hours with her each Sunday and observed many of her interactions with her peers. Just days before her passing from this earth life, I had held her in my lap and helped her jump to the tune of 'Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.' Although she didn't sing along, she communicated she knew the words by prepping for a jump each time the word "sunbeam" approached. I think she may have even let a few shy smiles escape while we sang.

Ivy was a quiet and mild-tempered little girl, and to say she had a sweet and nurturing spirit is an understatement. She loved carrying around various baby dolls and had a knack for sneaking Elliott's bottle out of the diaper bag and delivering it to him without me noticing😂. She loved to give hugs - and often persisted on giving them, totally oblivious to the notion that the recipient maaaay not have been particularly fond of the idea. (I can remember multiple occasions when Lydia ended up in tears because of Ivy's very persistent hugs after church 😂.)

Ivy's smile was one you really had to work for. On the occasion she flashed one in your direction, it was extra-special knowing they weren't easily come by. Her whole face lit up when she smiled, like a ray of sunshine. It was beautiful.

She was the youngest of 5 children, and after nursery was over and it was time to go home, I would often see Ivy's older siblings fighting over who got to retrieve her from the nursery room, their love for her easily apparent to all.

Although she didn't have much time here on the earth, the impact Ivy had on those she came in contact with was profound. 

My heart is still heavy and my eyes still sting from this tragic loss, but ironically I am filled with gratitude. There are a lot of things I don't know or understand, but there are some truths that I feel certain of, and I'm clinging on to them more tightly than ever right now.

I know that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us. 

I know that this earth-life is just temporary.
I know that Jesus understands every part of our heartbreak and has the power to heal broken hearts. 
I know that through the sealing power available in holy temples, we can be with our loved ones when we die.

I know that God's plan is perfect. 

Ivy will be missed, and I'm fully aware that the sorrow that I feel for her leaving so suddenly is only a small fraction compared to those in her immediate family. During her funeral services her mom expressed that the love they have felt in the time since the accident has been greater than the pain, "And the pain is so, so great" I imagined her to add. 

This experience has been a sacred reminder to me of just how precious life is, and how important it is to savor every moment I get to spend with those I love.

Ivy's middle name, Rae, has never been more true than now.
Jesus wanted Ivy for a sunbeam, and a sunbeam she is and always will be.

_ _ _

han.

I filmed this video days after finding out we were expecting and before the sickness kicked in! Unfortunately it didn't take long for the sickness to put me out for a few months during which time editing this video was the FURTHEST thing from my mind! I'm glad to say that I'm safely in the second trimester and feeling approximately 1000x better, so I finally got around to doing something with it! I really do hope to use video to document this pregnancy more so please hold me to it!

Watch the video for answers to questions like "Was this pregnancy planned?!" and "How many kids do you want?!" You just might learn a thing or two you didn't know ;)

_ _ _

han.

P.S. On a scale from 1 to vain how bad does it make me that all I can think about while watching this video back is how much I miss my eyelash extensions?! 😂🙈

I've been so busy lately concentrating on instagram and growing my youtube channel (oh yeah, and being a mom of two under two 😅😂) that I'm afraid I've let this little blog of mine fall through the cracks. I really don't want to let it die completely, but I'm not sure I'll be able to consistently make time to post new content on it, so I'm going to start posting my instagram photos here as well. For those of you who already follow me on instgram, these posts might feel a little redundant, but I have a few siblings who STILL don't have instagram (no matter how much I plead for them to jump on the wagon ;)) AND since instagram's feed is no longer in chronological order, it might be nice for people to keep track of it on here. Most of all though, this space is still primary my "life story" if you will, and I think it will be nice to have more of my story in one place. (I'm going to try to be better about posting my youtube videos here right away as well.) 

To take full advantage of this moment with both kids napping, I'll provide a quick update: Life is GREAT. We have love love loved the addition of Elliott to our little family and he continues to be the happiest, chillest, and chunkiest baby ever. I would guess he is WEEKS away from surpassing Lydia in weight and I daresay his head is already bigger than hers. haha! Stephen continues to work long and hard for our family and we have LOVED the long summer days that have allowed us to get out of the house after he's home and still have hours of daylight to hit up the splash pad or the slide at a nearby park. Thinking about the fact that soon he will be coming home after dark already has me a little apprehensive (is it just me, or do days seem to DRAG AND DRAG when the sun is out for such a short time?). Thankfully I feel like the kids and I are in a really good routine (although don't ask me how I feel on Friday - SNOW is in the forecast😭!!!) and we are SO GRATEFUL to be living in our apartment with so many friends around during the day. 

Thanks for being here and I'm really hoping to back here again SOON! 

_ _ _ 

han.

I can't believe it's almost been three weeks since Elliott was born! The days have literally flown by. We were so incredibly blessed to have Mom Olson with us for six days after he was born and then Mom Flinders for 10 days after that! We were so spoiled! I've tried to use any spare time I've had the last few weeks to record details about the birth (on my phone) since everything fades so quickly, and as ridiculous as this novel is, I'm sure I've left things out! Obviously there are wayyy more details in this post than the average person cares to know, but it's important to me to have all the details in one place! So...here we go! 

This time my due date came and went and to be honest I felt weirdly calm about everything. With Lydia, I had thoroughly convinced myself she was going to come before the due date, so everyday for WEEKS before she came I told myself, "Today's the day!" and then it wasn't...and wasn't...and wasn't. By the time her due date finally came I was pretty beaten down, depressed, frustrated, and quite honestly annoyed! It was in that state that I was talked into hiking the Y, drinking the caster oil drink etc...But you can read alllllll about that here, if you care to be reminded of the details surrounding that birth. ;)

With Elliott things were different. I pretty much expected to go past my due date this time, I just had no idea how long. I actually agreed to photograph a wedding ON the due date (obviously I had back-up in place in case I couldn't make it!) and I think a good part of me would have been disappointed had I not been able to make it to the wedding. As soon as the wedding ended and we were driving home, however, I started sending vibes to Babyboy that any time from here on out would be an appropriate time for him to make his debut. ☺️

On Tuesday morning I went to a trampoline park with a friend. She had texted me on Monday and invited me and Lydia to come with her and her daughter and I thought that was an excellent idea! It gave me something to do and there was a chance jumping on a tramoline might help move things along, so it was a win-win! (Plus, Lydia loooves trampolines.) We had fun at the park, but zero contractions (even when I was jumping!) so I don't think it made any difference for Elliott, haha. That night Mom Olson flew in so again I did my best to send the "Come on, baby!" vibes.

Wednesday morning I had a doctor's appointment. I had been "at about a one" for three-ish weeks so although I didn't foresee the baby coming that day, I hoped the doctor would give news of some progress. NOTHING. I asked my doctor if he would strip my membranes to possibly encourage things along, but he said stripping membranes is only effective about half of the time and always causes cramping and bleeding. He also said my cervix was "still pretty far back" so he was fairly confident it wouldn't be effective. (As a side note, while he was saying all of this, it occurred to me that most doctors probably aren't as gung-ho about stripping membranes as my doctor was when I had Lydia. My OB with Lydia stripped my membranes FOUR times, which, looking back, I'm 100% sure he did because he knew he was going out of town and really wanted her to come before he did! And yes. Cramping and bleeding were very present during the last few weeks of that pregnancy, but I just attributed that to the fact that I was nearing delivery and had no clue that it had anything to do with my membranes being stripped.)

That appointment (the whole 4 minutes that it lasted) was pretty discouraging. I broke down in the bathroom on my way out. I still wasn't NEARLY the wreck I had been when I was overdue with Lydia, but I was starting to get frustrated that NO progress had been made. I felt particularly anxious to get things moving now that Mom Olson was here to help! I really wanted to feel like her time was being used productively both for her sake, and mine! Basically, I left the doctor's office feeling like the baby wasn't coming out ANY time soon. I tried to pull it together (i.e. stop crying) but I broke down again in the car as I was texting Stephen about the appointment, and then a few minutes later when I met Lydia and Mom Olson at the park. Thankfully, it only took a few hours to mostly get out of the funk.

That night as I was semi-venting to Stephen about the fact that I felt like this baby was still WEEKS away, he suggested I go to the temple Thursday morning which was, of course, the perfect suggestion. 

I woke up Thursday morning and decided it was time to start taking matters into my own hands. After dropping Stephen off at the train station, I stopped at the grocery store and purchased the ingredients for the infamous caster oil drink that seemed to get things moving with Lydia. I knew it wasn't going to send my body into labor, but I was hopeful it might help things start moving along. The drink (in case you don't remember) consists of: half a can of kern's nectar, two tablespoons almond butter, two tablespoons caster oil, and lemon verbena oil (which I don't have, so I just used lemon juice, haha). It actually didn't taste as bad as I had remembered it! 

I went to the temple (per Stephen's suggestion) and did initiatories. Always a good idea, and something I had done regularly during the weeks leading up to Lydia's birth to help calm any potential fears I had about approaching an unmedicated labor. 

A little after getting home I started having some contractions! They were very sporadic and not strong at all, but I noticed that they were mostly in my back. I knew from my labor with Lydia that having back contractions can be a sign that the baby is in a poor position, maybe facing the wrong way. The fact that Elliott wasn't in the right position made sense to me. I felt fairly confidant that reason my body wasn't progressing towards labor was because he wasn't in the correct position. (Obviously, I have no way of knowing if this is actually true, but it sounded good to me, haha.) I asked a couple friends about what I could do to encourage him to get into a better position and I was told to try looking on the website spinningbabies.com for some specific suggestions. Most of the "exercises" require another person to assist so when Stephen got home from work we tried to follow the instructions on the website but mostly didn't have a clue what we were doing and felt really silly. Haha.  (One of them has you put a blanket over your stomach and have the other person tug on either side of the blanket to rock the baby into place hahaha, yes it felt as ridiculous as it sounds.) That night I also successfully talked Stephen into massaging different pressure points I found in a YouTube video as a means to get things moving. (I don't think it did anything, but any excuse for a massage is good in my book! haha)

Friday morning my friend Stacie offered to help me with the spinning babies thing because she was more familiar with the exercises than I was. I don't know if it was directly related to any of the things I'd done, but after a few hours the contractions were where they were supposed to be!

The rest of Friday was fairly uneventful. Mom Olson and I went on a walk. I tried a much more delicious "labor" drink a friend suggested (it had walnuts, ginger, and brown sugar -- I actually drank this one willingly without any complaint, haha). And that night Stephen and I test drove a car that we ended up purchasing the following week! 

On Saturday morning (now 5 days overdue) I had another mini breakdown. I told Stephen that I thought my body was still days or even weeks away from having a baby! Again, I was feeling pretty good physically, I was just frustrated that I had had help with us for three full days and still no baby! Obviously, Mom Olson was still a huge help with Lydia, and we loved having her here, I just felt silly for having her come all this way with zero signs of a baby! What if it the time came for her to leave and the baby still hadn't come?! I was also starting to stress a little because Dad Olson was set to fly in on the 13 for the baby blessing and there might not be a baby to bless by then! Thankfully Stephen calmed me down (he's the best) and I got it together for a good day. 

It was Mom Olson's birthday, and we had plans go to the zoo! After a relaxing morning and Lydia's (really long) nap, to the zoo we went! The last time Lydia went to a zoo she was 6 months old, so she was a lot more entertaining to watch this time around. Haha. It was a ton of fun! I had a handful of contractions as we walked up a hill in the back part of the zoo, but other than that, nada. 

On the way home we grabbed some Thai food to-go. Mom Olson got looots of siracha sauce in case I wanted to try the spicy food route. Haha. (I thought the green curry had the perfect amount of spice without the siracha for the record ;)) 

After dinner I decided that I had nothing to lose by drinking the caster oil drink again. I still had all the ingredients and I still didn't think it was going to send me into labor, but I wanted to feel like I was making an effort to push things along! This time the drink was particularly nasty for some reason. It was a struggle to choke it down, but I powered through!

Mom and Sarah (Stephen's sister who had joined us for the zoo outing) headed to the store to pick up some moose tracks ice cream for a birthday treat. While they were gone I asked Stephen to give me a priesthood blessing. He said he would but he also (somewhat jokingly) said that he couldn't force Elliott come tonight in the blessing. I laughed and said I knew that, but I wanted him to bless Elliott to be in the proper position so when he did come there wouldn't be any problems, and the birth would be able to go forward as I'd planned.

I went to sleep around 11:30 and then woke up at about three. As had been my habit the previous few weeks, I laid there for a minute trying to figure out what had woken me up. And, like every single previous instance, it was because I needed to pee. I went to the bathroom and got back in bed, bummed that I hadn't woken up due to a contraction, and then I had a contraction! Hooray! Haha. I went back to sleep (hoping that a contraction would wake me up) and sure enough, about a half an hour later I woke up again with another contraction! I laid in bed for a few minutes, had another contraction, and then had to go to the bathroom. I tried not to read into the fact that I needed to poop at 3:45 am, but I was obviously hopeful that this was a sign my body was preparing for labor.

I got back in bed again and slept for another 20 minutes or so and then woke up from another contraction. After laying in bed for a while continuing to have (mild) contractions, I decided to take a bath. I don't totally know the reason, but I've heard that getting in the water will sometimes help the contractions subside if they aren't the real deal? Or it soothes them if they are? I don't know if either of those things are even remotely true, haha, but whatever the reason, I got in the bath.

In the bath I listened to a few general conference talks, since it was Sunday, afterall. I listened to this talk by Elder Holland to start, which was given just a few weeks before Lydia was born, and if you haven't heard I highly recommend. 

At about 5:30 am I got out of the bath and woke up Stephen to give him the update. I told him I wasn't 100% sure this was the real deal, but that I had been contracting fairly regularly for a few hours. He started timing the contractions on his phone and they were coming about five minutes apart and were lasting between 35-45 seconds. I got back in bed but quickly realized that laying down was not a pleasant laboring position, so I didn't last that way for long. I much preferred bouncing on an exercise ball or standing and leaning against a wall/Stephen during contractions. After timing them for about an hour and seeing them get longer, stronger and more frequent, we decided that this was really happening -- it was just a matter of how long I wanted to stay home before heading to the hospital! 

We spent the next few hours casually packing the hospital bag and tidying up around the house. It was hard to pack the hospital bag in advance because so much of the stuff I wanted to take was stuff I needed everyday (i.e hairbrush, toothbrush, camera, phone charger, etc). My cousin Kimberly suggested making a list of things I was going to need and then packing it when the day arrived and I'm so glad that's what we did! I really liked having an objective while the contractions were continuing to pick up. 

Lydia woke up around 8 and would get mad every time she saw me on the exercise ball (she thinks it's hers and is very protective of it) and every time Stephen would hug me during a contraction (she is equally as protective of his affection, hahaha). We found it really funny but she did not. ha!

Just before 9, Mom Olson left with Lydia for church (Grandpa Olson had been kind enough to lend her his car while she was staying with us). We finished tidying up the apartment, did one last check to make sure we had everything we needed, and then decided to head to the hospital. When we got in the car we said a prayer that our car would make it there. Haha. My poor little '98 Honda Accord had had the "check engine" light on for days and from the way it was violently shifting gears, or choosing not to shift gears at all, we knew the transmission was basically shot.

Thankfully, we made it to the hospital without any problems (#powerofprayer), but of course the whole way there I was questioning weather or not it was really time to be heading to the hospital! I was so terrified I would get there and they would tell me I was at a 2 and send me home! I knew it really wouldn't be that big of a deal if I was sent home, but I just really didn't want that to happen. Among other reasons, I had coordinated with some girls in my building to watch Lydia after church so Mom Olson could come to the hospital, so going back home empty handed would have been quite embarrassing. Ha. 

When we got to the check-in desk at labor and delivery there were approximately 15 women standing behind it in scrubs. Apparently the computer inputting system had been changed the day before so they were all helping each other navigate through the new system. The whole time we were checking in (which took almost 10 minutes, despite the fact that I had preregistered) I only had ONE contraction, and it wasn't even a very long one! The lady asked me to sign a paper and then I started having a contraction so I just closed my eyes and leaned against the desk and after 20 seconds or so I opened my eyes, took the pen, and then signed the paper. I am 100% sure at least half of the women behind the desk were rolling their eyes and thinking "Oh honey, you are NOT in labor." 🙈 

I got into the room and changed into the oh-so-flattering hospital gown. A little while later my nurse Katelynn came in. She was super nice and I still want to be her friend in real life, haha. I told her that I was so afraid I was going to be at a 2 and be sent home and she just laughed and said that if I was it wouldn't be a big deal. After I was all hooked up to the monitors so they could watch the contractions and the baby's heart rate, she checked me and she said, "You're most definitely not at a 2! You're at a 6!" 💃🏻💃🏻 I was soooo relieved that I was actually in labor and that I WOULD have a baby before leaving the hospital!

Since I tested positive for GBS, they gave me an IV and started administering penicillin. After about 20 minutes it was I was unhooked from the monitors so I could move freely. 

They brought in an exercise ball (at my request) but it was a little small/deflated so I didn't like laboring on it as much as I had at home. Instead, I preferred leaning against the bed, against Stephen, or kneeling on the bed. 

Mom Olson arrived around 11:15 and my friend Sue, who was kind enough to come take pictures for us, arrived at about noon. Since we opted to go without a doula this time, I was glad Sue was able to come because she had two of her children unmedicated, and it was comforting to have a visual reminder that birth is normal, natural, and healthy! (Plus, the pictures she took are 👌🏼.)

The next few hours the four of us chatted and I would pause occasionally to breathe through a contraction. It was still fairly easy for me to keep up with the conversation through them, and occasionally I would even contribute a few words during a contraction, so things were going very smoothly.

A little after 2 I felt like things were picking up significantly. I obviously wasn't in the "pushing stage" but the contractions started to feel different and more intense. I called my nurse in to check me and she said I was at a 6+. I'm sure she added the plus just to be nice 😂 . I was maybe a tad discouraged I hadn't made much noticeable progress in the few hours I'd been at the hospital, but I was pretty confident that things were moving along just fine. Katelynn was super supportive and believed that things were going to go fast once they started happening, so she told the front desk to call my doctor. A few minutes later the front desk responded to say that my doctor was going to wait to come until there was "significant progress." Totally understandable, but as I overheard this conversation I had the very clear thought that he wasn't going to make it in time.

Katelynn suggested I labor on hands and knees on the bed because she said when she had checked me she thought the baby's head was tilted slightly. A few minutes after she left, the contractions became more intense. It started taking all of my concentration to breathe through them. One of the other nurses suggested to have Stephen and Mom Olson apply pressure to either side of my lower back during these more-intense contractions and I am SO grateful she suggested that! It was so so helpful! After about 20 minutes of these more-intense contractions I called Katelynn in again and said that I felt like the pushing stage was getting pretty close! She checked me again and said I was at a 9! She said that I should "try to not push" if the urge came since there was still a little bit of cervix in the way and I chuckled to myself remembering how well that went last time.... Ha. (It didn't.) 

A minute later I said, "I think I need to push!...Or maybe I need to poop!...Not sure if I need to push, but I definitely need to poop!" Katelyn laughed and said, "I've heard that before! You're definitely about to have a baby!" 

I turned over so I was laying in the bed. Katelynn was entering something into the computer when all of a sudden HE WAS COMING. I said to Katelyn, "He's coming right now!" She moved the blanket and sure enough, there was his head! Katelyn put a hand on his head (holding him there?! I'm not actually sure why, haha) And very calmly asked Mom Olson to go over and push "the pink button." Within seconds of the pink button being pressed, the doors swung open and about 7 people rushed into the room, one of which was the on-call doctor who came into the room holding her hands up and saying, "Gloves! Gloves! I need gloves, any gloves!" 

(I only know that part of the story because Mom Olson recounted it later, haha, I was a little distracted by other things at that particular moment, lol.)

Elliott's head came so fast and I wasn't expecting it all to happen so quickly that it, quite literally, took my breath away! I honestly forgot how to breathe for a few seconds! And then not being able to breathe made me slightly panic. Katelynn remained very calm and reminded me to breathe. Thankfully it only took a second for me to remember how to breathe, haha, and I asked if someone would count. During the pushing stage with Lydia one of the nurses counted each time I pushed and I remembered it being SO helpful! 

..Let's just say, there wasn't much time to count. Another push and some involuntary noises came out of my mouth. haha! 🙊 It definitely wasn't a scream, but with each push came a low noise (groan?) that I seriously didn't recognize and definitely didn't anticipate! The doctor (who thankfully found some gloves, haha) came over to the foot off the bed and cheerfully said, "If you picked your knees up, he'd come right out!" (As she said it I remember thinking how silly it was of me to be laying on my back with my legs flat on the bed. 

I picked up my knees as suggested, gave one more push and out he flew! Elliott Allred was born at 2:57 pm, weighing 7 pounds, 15 ounces, (just 5 ounces less than Lydia's birthweight) -- about two minutes after the doctor had come into the room!

I did tear a little bit, but the doctor said the tear wasn't bleeding, so she guessed I just re-tore along part of where I'd torn with Lydia. While she gave me a few stitches I held Elliott for the first time! Everything was perfect!! Within a minute of him being born, Elliott pooped, just a small foreshadowing of the weeks to come ;)

(Next came my LEAST favorite part of the whole experience - when the nurses push on the stomach to help uterus contract back down and make sure it is soft. I seriously hate that part.)

About an hour and a half later they moved me to the recovery room. It just so happened that my mom was flying in that day for a surprise birthday party for one of my aunts, so she came by with my Grandma and Grandpa Rasband after they picked her up from the airport! Mom Olson had gone back to pick up Lydia from a friend's and brought her back so we all got to watch Lydia meet Elliott for the first time and I thought my heart was going to burst! Lydia didn't totally understand who Elliott was I'm sure, but she she loves babies, so she was really excited about him, and it was beyond adorable.

Overall, everything with this birth went much smoother than with Lydia's. (And I would say her birth went relatively smoothly aside from the little bit when we were told to prepare for an emergency C-section.) I'm not sure what can be attributed to the fact that it was a second birth, a smaller baby, and the lack of medical intervention/epidural, but the recovery this time around has been GREAT! Within a few hours of Elliott's arrival I was walking around and it little to no pain. I took the ibuprofen that the nurses offered every 8 hours, but every time they asked me to rate my level of pain I said 0 and I really meant it! Obviously there were a few days over the next few weeks where I felt a bit sore, but by far the worst part of the days immediately following the birth were the post-labor contractions! I had been warned about many times and were indeed more prevalent than any post-labor contractions I had experienced with Lydia. (Yes, I am fully aware they get worse with each kid and I am already dreading it.) I always assumed that people wore "belly bands" after labor for purely cosmetic reasons, but I decided to put one on as a way to apply constant pressure on my back and I actually thought it helped a lot! It's funny too because I feel like I was constantly complaining about the post-labor contractions, but I never once did I complain about a contraction being uncomfortable during labor. In my opinion, it really just goes to show that mindset it KEY! (And also proves that I do not have an abnormally high pain tolerance, haha.)

In summary, the human body is amazing and I'm so grateful to have Elliott here, happy and healthy! (And best of all - sleepy ;))

So far we think being a family of four is pretty great!

_ _ _

han. 

It was sometime after 2:00 am, Wednesday, that Lydia woke up screaming for probably the fourth time.

Stephen immediately got up to help calm her, and I suggested he bring her into our bed to see if maybe that would help her sleep for more than a few hours. All told, I had very little confidence this would actually work, but it seemed like a better (and much more lazy) alternative than one of us getting out of bed every few hours to comfort her. 

Stephen brought in our clearly uncomfortable, grumpy, horribly exhausted, teething child. We tried a few things to help her calm down, but nothing seemed to be helping. An attempt to give her some Tylenol was completely unsuccessful, she all but threw the syringe back in my face with an indignant scream.   

I suggested Stephen give her a priesthood blessing and he did so without hesitating. After the blessing we both thought we should give her a bath. We stripped her down and immediately the screaming subsided (the poor girl was burning up with a fever). A few seconds in the water, however, was all it took for her to clearly communicate that a bath was not the answer.

As Stephen carried a dripping, diaper-clad Lydia back over to our bed, she laid her head down on his shoulder and immediately closed her eyes. He carefully got in the bed, propped himself up with some pillows, and held our helpless, hurting little baby, gently patting her back as they both drifted back to sleep.

Watching this from just a few feet away, my breath caught in my throat. Seeing my Stephen, my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life, holding and comforting our almost-naked, perfect little Lydia on his chest, was almost too much for me to handle. I watched them for a few minutes and felt a familiar warmth near my heart I had never experienced before I became a mom, but now experience frequently.

I knew it was much too dark in the room to be able to capture this perfect little scene on camera, so I tried to take in every part of it for as long as I could before I drifted off to sleep.

_ _ _ 

han.

[HANNAH] ATTENDING A DANCE PARTY PUT ON BY ALISON OF THE ALISON SHOW. This was one of those things that I'd been REALLY wanting to do for months (years?), and I finally did it! Now that it's checked off the list, however, I'll probably never do it again. haha. It's funny how after spending $25 on a ticket to get into an all-women dance party, I remembered something: I don't actually like to dance, hahahaha. I mean, I'm ALLL about the IDPs, but dance parties just really aren't my thing. Although this was kind of an unfortunate time to re-remember this trait about myself, I'm still glad I went to see what it was like AND meet/dance with THE ALISON (the sodalicious and rockwell ice cream didn't hurt either 😏). Thankfully, when Alison's next dance party came around (and the tickets doubled in price) I didn't have to feel sad that I wasn't a part of it! (Photo credit: Becky Kimball, taken from this post!)

STEPHEN GRADUATING FROM BYU [WITH A JOB OFFER]. Stephen and I will be forever grateful for the education we each received at BYU, and its role in bringing us together as ity-bity freshman (#RIPoldheritagehalls). We felt very blessed that Stephen was able to land a job offer in Salt Lake (that we were both really excited about) months before he graduated, and we will forever laugh about the fact that the last final he took as an undergraduate student was for BIO100 in which he was required to dress up as a hobbit.  

MEETING ADDITIONAL FAMILY. Due to the tenderness of this subject, I haven't posted about it on social media, but through a series of somewhat miraculous events, Stephen was able to get in contact with (and meet!) his biological parents and their extended families. It has been an incredible experience for us to get to know so many wonderful people, and the sweet and love-filled meeting of his mom and birth-mom is a moment none of us will ever forget.

MOVING FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE WE GOT MARRIED. Moving out of Provo (and out of our first apartment) was definitely bittersweet. We loved living in Provo, but moving away did make us feel a little more like we were entering the "real world." My Aunt and Uncle were SO kind to host us for a few months before we found an apartment that we were really excited about in Bountiful. 

VISITING FAMILY IN CALIFORNIA AND TEXAS. During a "month of homelessness" (before Stephen had to start working) we had a ton of fun visiting my parents in Northern California, my sister Rebekah and her family in Dallas, and my brother Joseph and his family in Houston. We have now visited the stomping grounds of each of my siblings! (Except Miriam who is currently on a mission in New Jersey.)

FINDING OUT A BABY BOY WILL BE JOINING OUR FAMILY IN MAY! Stephen and I have always talked about having our kids close together in age, but after having such a rough pregnancy with Lydia, I wasn't sure I could put my body through that again (at least not any time soon!). Amazingly enough, when Lydia was just a few months old I was already talking about getting her a little sibling! We were thrilled to find out that she will be getting a little brother right around the time she turns one and a half, and I am ecstatic about the fact that this pregnancy has truly been A BREEZE compared to Lydia's (let's just pray the rest of them are this way)!

FURNISHING OUR FIRST 'REAL' APARTMENT AND PURCHASING A WASHER AND DRYER. When we lived in Provo we lived in the basement of a house my parents own. We paid rent to them and had some managerial responsibilities, but moving into an apartment at the beginning of September with no family ties felt much more 'real.'  In November, we did what we agree was the single-most-adult-like-act we've ever experienced, and purchased a washer and dryer of our very own! haha! (Yes, having a baby comes second.) The process of furnishing our apartment is far from over, and I've grown a certain fondness for our cardboard box nightstands, so I don't foresee them going anywhere any time soon. 😂

STEPHEN TAKING THE GMAT. After countless hours of studying for the GMAT, Stephen finally took it in early November! He did AMAZINGLY WELL, and I have to brag about the fact that he scored in the 98th percentile for the verbal section. THAT MEANS that he did better than 98% of people on that half of the test!!!! He doesn't plan to attend grad school (to get an MBA) for a few years, but we wanted to get the test over with (since the score will keep for 5 years) and BOY am I glad it's over with!!!

LYDIA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY. It's pretty crazy that at the beginning of 2016 Lydia couldn't even hold her head up, and "tummy time" was enough to make her scream bloody murder. During the course of this year we have loved watching Lydia learn how to sit up, crawl, laugh, wave, growl, stand, clap, scoot, blow kisses, and take her first steps! The amount that babies learn and grow in a single year is honestly unbelievable. 

SPENDING CHRISTMAS IN IOWA. We loved being able to travel to Iowa again this year for Christmas! It was so great to have people around who are as obsessed with Lydia as we are, and didn't mind following after her as she wandered around the house (always heading for the stairs). Mom Olson was even kind enough to make a new pair of one-year-old-sized Lydia pajamas that match the ones Stephen and I have from last year! (I'll have to post a photo of them soon, they're adorable.)

2016 was an amazing year for our family! We are so excited to see what 2017 has in store!

_ _ _

han.

The sun was out, and my phone said it was windy but the temperature was 37 degrees, which for a winter in Iowa is actually quite warm! 

IT. WASN'T.
^^Stephen jumping to keep warm//catching pokémon while waiting for me to adjust the settings on my camera.

It was freezing!

I swear the wind chill (which my phone confirmed was blowing at 30-40mph!) was in the single digits. By the time we got out of the parking garage our hands were already numb! I'd lugged along my real camera with the hope of getting some pictures, but we hadn't thought to bring gloves, and because my camera is so bulky, I couldn't put my hands in my pockets. Stephen was a saint to take a few pictures despite the cold (maybe because there were pokémon out for him to catch..), but after a particularly strong and icy gust of wind, we decided to take a selfie from my phone and call it a day (or "date"? ha). 

When we got back to the car, I looked at my timer which was now counting-down from 30:15.

 9 minutes 45 seconds was all we had lasted. 😂😂😂

Not able to come up with anything else to do we headed back home! I think we were out of the house for a total of about 25 minutes. Clearly, we need to get more creative with things we can do on dates that don't cost money. Suggestions are welcomed! 

_ _ _

han.