MOTHERHOOD IS JOY.

3:57 PM



Yesterday I read the following post in a facebook group:

Hi!
I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and expecting my first. As the time gets closer, I thought I'd be getting more excited but have found that I'm hearing non-stop comments that are negative or unhappy about what to expect. Things like, 'just you wait until [insert here]' or 'Make sure you do this and this because you'll never get to again!' or even just people's venting about their own children. ...I know children aren't always sunshine and rainbows (I worked in Childcare and nannied since I was fourteen. I've seen the best and worst of kids) but it's left me having nightmares, abnormal thoughts and worries, and losing my excitement for what has been such a miraculous time in my husband and I's life. What have you found has worked for you in keeping that joy and excitement? What have been some of your favourite, most positive, and happiest moments with your children?

This post has been in the back of my mind ever since I read it for a couple reasons. The main one being: three-years ago I could have almost written it myself.

I've told the story a million times before. I was pregnant with Lydia. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Unexcited. Quite honestly, I was dreading the day that Lydia would be born and I would assume the role of "mother." 

"Motherhood is hard" was the go-to phrase I heard over and over and over and over again during her pregnancy. I heard it so often, in fact, that not only did I grow to completely RESENT the phrase, there was a period during which I cried to Stephen almost DAILY (have you noticed I tend to cry a lot when I'm pregnant?) BEGGING him to explain WHY people intentionally have children. At all. Ever. Period.

"I don't get it!" I would say. "People seem to be endlessly bothered by their children and frequently feel the need to complain about how 'hard' it is....but yet they continue to have more children?! WHY." 

Maybe Stephen didn't know the answer to the question, or maybe he knew I wasn't in the mindset to hear the answer, but thankfully for both of us it didn't take long after Lydia was born for me to learn to answer for myself: JOY. 

In the temple we are taught to "have joy in our posterity." I don't think that phrase ever registered before Lydia was born, or at least I never gave it much thought, but over the years it has become one of my favorite parts of the endowment. The reason God wants us to have kids is because they bring joy. 

And so, to answer this random stranger on the internet's request for some "positive, happy moments with my children," here are a few ways Lydia and Elliott brought me joy (so far) today:

Lydia's appearance this morning: crazy curls escaped from her braids, wearing backwards Elmo pajama pants with her belly sticking out of the two-sizes too small pajama shirt she was wearing.


Elliott's grin and wave when I got him out of his crib.


Lydia's brainstorm on what to do while waiting for her pancakes to cool down, "Oh! We should say a prayer!" 

Elliott's excitement over seeing the box of Honey Nut Cheerios being pulled out of the pantry.

Lydia licking the leftover syrup off of her plate.

Elliott's shy smile when I caught him trying to climb out of his high chair. 


Lydia putting a square-shaped hot pad over her feet and jumping across the living room floor with it like a gunnysack in a relay-race. (Should I mention that she was 100% naked otherwise? 😂) 



Each time Lydia started a sentence with, "When I'm bigger bigger..."


Watching Elliott nuzzle into his pillow with one arm around his stuffed dog and the other thumb in his mouth, situating himself for his morning nap. 

When Lydia requested I help her put a sleeping-eye-mask over her face.

Overhearing Lydia giggle with her friends.

Elliott's babble to himself as he patiently waited for me to get him after his morning nap.

Lydia telling me, "Mom! I'm making a PIE! It's just pretend." 

Elliott's delighted squeal when Lydia handed him the yellow balloon. 

Lydia walking over to the olive-wood Jesus carving on the bookshelf, pinching his nose and saying "HONK!"

Elliott crawling over and giving me a raspberry on my leg and then looking up at me and giggling. 

BabyBoy getting the hiccups multiple times a day just like his big brother.

Lydia handing me the balloon and saying, "Happy Birthday! Let's have some cake!"



Elliott humming while he ate his cheesy bread for lunch. 

Lydia taking a bite out of her graham cracker and saying, "Look Mom! It's a dress!" 

Elliott putting his head on my shoulder and arm around my neck and pulling me in for a hug.

Lydia telling me, "Maybe we should save the new sippy cup you got for the new baby."

Elliott picking up a plastic fork from the kitchen floor and proceeding to comb my hair with it. 😂

Being the bottom of "body-slam" pile-up with all (three) kiddos on top of me on the couch. 

Lydia (to me from upstairs): "MOM! ELLIOTT IS CRYING BECAUSE HE IS TRYIN' TO POOP!!!!"

Kissing Elliott's soft, chubby cheeks. 

When Lydia exclaimed, "Elliott! The balloon is so happy to see you!" after he woke up from his afternoon nap. 

Edit: I'm updating this to add one more from this evening.

Stephen and Lydia were going to walk to the park and Elliott and I were going to stay home. Right as Stephen and Lyds started walking away Elliott started crying. 
Me:"It's like he knows!"
Lydia: "What?! He has a cold nose?! We need to get him a jacket!"

-

Some might say that my definition of "joy" is too broad, but I feel certain that I have experienced more joy in the three years since becoming a mom than I have during any other time in my life. And guess what - my kids still cry and throw tantrums and do all the things that normal, developing children should do.  

So please, next time you're talking to an expectant mother remember this: Most people are already (painfully) aware that "motherhood is hard." Perhaps a lot more of our time and energy could (and should) be spent expressing "motherhood is joy." 

_ _ _
han.


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20 comments

  1. I have to say, it knid of breaks my heart that when conversing with someone who says motherhood is hard - its not met with sympathy and compassion. As someone who got debiliating depression and suicidal tendencies due to going through child birth, and has a child with a disability - my experience has bedn very hard. Not because I love my children any less than you do, or notice their sweet spirits any less. But simply because I have some real mountains I’m climbing right now. I wish that every mother, no matter how hard or easy their path is, was just met with a whole lot of understanding and compassion.

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      This is my testimony about the good work of priest Ojoka who help me.... I'm tasha from north Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, by this world best spell caster that brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told me have come to pass and thank you sir. Please i want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tell is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail .com or directly on whats-app +2348144172934

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  2. I love this. Sometimes I have felt like I shouldn't take joy in my child because "the other shoe will drop someday" and I may miss something that I was "supposed" to do because I was just relaxing and enjoying. Thank you for writing this Hannah!

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  8. HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF PRIEST WISDOM CONTACT ON WHATS_APP NUMBER +2348144172934

    This is my testimony about the good work of priest Ojoka who help me.... I'm tasha from north Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, by this world best spell caster that brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told me have come to pass and thank you sir. Please i want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tell is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail .com or directly on whats-app +2348144172934

    ReplyDelete
  9. hello everyone My name is Carlos Dilworth from mexico but base in  the united states ,i just want to share my testimony with the world on how Doctor HARRY Help me to enlarge my penis. Please read my good news carefully and i am sure it will affect your life positively on how you will also enlarge your pines,because i know some many people out there also need his help!
    I came across so many comments about Dr HARRY Penis Enlargement Medicine cream some weeks ago, on his website https://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple   though I had really wanted my penis to be large, long and thick,because i was not able to have sex with my wife..It was really affecting our marriage and my wife was about to divorce me. I had about 8.128cm – 3.2 inches before. Am really amazed on the fast results achieved within 7 days of using Dr. harry Penis Enlargement Medicine. It work and now I have got 22.87cm – 10.5 inches now. And my wife love it more now, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, This went on for a little period of about 14 days and to my surprise my wife keeps screaming that she love my big dick now. And my penis is now 11 inches long on erection and off course very large round. I am very happy for this Penis Enlargement experience. He can help with all kinds of cure you may need as follows

    Penis Enlargement
    Low sperm count
    Weak Erection
    diabetes type 1and 2
    Herpes spell
    HIV spell
    Pregnancy spell
    Marriage for spell
    cancer
    ALS
    watering sperm
    womb fertilization
    penis erection
    witch craft attack
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    internal heat
    swollen body
    low sperm count
    long time sickness
    kidney,heart,lungs,problem
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  16. I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the last four years and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During the first year, I had faith in God that I would be healed someday.This disease started to circulate all over my body and I have been taking treatment from my doctor, a few weeks ago I came on search on the internet if I could get any information concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search I saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Hepatitis B and Cancer) by this Man Dr. Silver and she also gave the email address of this man and advise we should contact him for any sickness that he would be of help, so I wrote to Dr. Silver telling him about my (HERPES Virus) he told me not to worry that I was going to be cured!! hmm i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by this man few weeks later I started experiencing changes all over me as the Dr. assured me that I have cured, after some time i went to my doctor to confirmed if I have been finally healed behold it was TRUE, So friends my advice is if you have such sickness or any other at all you can email Dr. Silver (drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com) sir I am indeed grateful for the help I will forever recommend you to my friends!!! with your lovely Email Address ( drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com

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