MOTHERHOOD IS JOY.
3:57 PM
Yesterday I read the following post in a facebook group:
Hi!
I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and expecting my first. As the time gets closer, I thought I'd be getting more excited but have found that I'm hearing non-stop comments that are negative or unhappy about what to expect. Things like, 'just you wait until [insert here]' or 'Make sure you do this and this because you'll never get to again!' or even just people's venting about their own children. ...I know children aren't always sunshine and rainbows (I worked in Childcare and nannied since I was fourteen. I've seen the best and worst of kids) but it's left me having nightmares, abnormal thoughts and worries, and losing my excitement for what has been such a miraculous time in my husband and I's life. What have you found has worked for you in keeping that joy and excitement? What have been some of your favourite, most positive, and happiest moments with your children?
This post has been in the back of my mind ever since I read it for a couple reasons. The main one being: three-years ago I could have almost written it myself.
I've told the story a million times before. I was pregnant with Lydia. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Unexcited. Quite honestly, I was dreading the day that Lydia would be born and I would assume the role of "mother."
"Motherhood is hard" was the go-to phrase I heard over and over and over and over again during her pregnancy. I heard it so often, in fact, that not only did I grow to completely RESENT the phrase, there was a period during which I cried to Stephen almost DAILY (have you noticed I tend to cry a lot when I'm pregnant?) BEGGING him to explain WHY people intentionally have children. At all. Ever. Period.
"I don't get it!" I would say. "People seem to be endlessly bothered by their children and frequently feel the need to complain about how 'hard' it is....but yet they continue to have more children?! WHY."
Maybe Stephen didn't know the answer to the question, or maybe he knew I wasn't in the mindset to hear the answer, but thankfully for both of us it didn't take long after Lydia was born for me to learn to answer for myself: JOY.
In the temple we are taught to "have joy in our posterity." I don't think that phrase ever registered before Lydia was born, or at least I never gave it much thought, but over the years it has become one of my favorite parts of the endowment. The reason God wants us to have kids is because they bring joy.
And so, to answer this random stranger on the internet's request for some "positive, happy moments with my children," here are a few ways Lydia and Elliott brought me joy (so far) today:
Lydia's appearance this morning: crazy curls escaped from her braids, wearing backwards Elmo pajama pants with her belly sticking out of the two-sizes too small pajama shirt she was wearing.
Elliott's grin and wave when I got him out of his crib.
Lydia's brainstorm on what to do while waiting for her pancakes to cool down, "Oh! We should say a prayer!"
Elliott's excitement over seeing the box of Honey Nut Cheerios being pulled out of the pantry.
Lydia licking the leftover syrup off of her plate.
Elliott's shy smile when I caught him trying to climb out of his high chair.
Lydia putting a square-shaped hot pad over her feet and jumping across the living room floor with it like a gunnysack in a relay-race. (Should I mention that she was 100% naked otherwise? 😂)
Each time Lydia started a sentence with, "When I'm bigger bigger..."
Watching Elliott nuzzle into his pillow with one arm around his stuffed dog and the other thumb in his mouth, situating himself for his morning nap.
When Lydia requested I help her put a sleeping-eye-mask over her face.
Overhearing Lydia giggle with her friends.
Elliott's babble to himself as he patiently waited for me to get him after his morning nap.
Lydia telling me, "Mom! I'm making a PIE! It's just pretend."
Elliott's delighted squeal when Lydia handed him the yellow balloon.
Lydia walking over to the olive-wood Jesus carving on the bookshelf, pinching his nose and saying "HONK!"
Elliott crawling over and giving me a raspberry on my leg and then looking up at me and giggling.
BabyBoy getting the hiccups multiple times a day just like his big brother.
Lydia handing me the balloon and saying, "Happy Birthday! Let's have some cake!"
Elliott humming while he ate his cheesy bread for lunch.
Lydia taking a bite out of her graham cracker and saying, "Look Mom! It's a dress!"
Elliott putting his head on my shoulder and arm around my neck and pulling me in for a hug.
Lydia telling me, "Maybe we should save the new sippy cup you got for the new baby."
Elliott picking up a plastic fork from the kitchen floor and proceeding to comb my hair with it. 😂
Being the bottom of "body-slam" pile-up with all (three) kiddos on top of me on the couch.
Being the bottom of "body-slam" pile-up with all (three) kiddos on top of me on the couch.
Lydia (to me from upstairs): "MOM! ELLIOTT IS CRYING BECAUSE HE IS TRYIN' TO POOP!!!!"
Kissing Elliott's soft, chubby cheeks.
When Lydia exclaimed, "Elliott! The balloon is so happy to see you!" after he woke up from his afternoon nap.
Stephen and Lydia were going to walk to the park and Elliott and I were going to stay home. Right as Stephen and Lyds started walking away Elliott started crying.
Me:"It's like he knows!"
Lydia: "What?! He has a cold nose?! We need to get him a jacket!"
-
Some might say that my definition of "joy" is too broad, but I feel certain that I have experienced more joy in the three years since becoming a mom than I have during any other time in my life. And guess what - my kids still cry and throw tantrums and do all the things that normal, developing children should do.
So please, next time you're talking to an expectant mother remember this: Most people are already (painfully) aware that "motherhood is hard." Perhaps a lot more of our time and energy could (and should) be spent expressing "motherhood is joy."
_ _ _
han.
33 comments
I have to say, it knid of breaks my heart that when conversing with someone who says motherhood is hard - its not met with sympathy and compassion. As someone who got debiliating depression and suicidal tendencies due to going through child birth, and has a child with a disability - my experience has bedn very hard. Not because I love my children any less than you do, or notice their sweet spirits any less. But simply because I have some real mountains I’m climbing right now. I wish that every mother, no matter how hard or easy their path is, was just met with a whole lot of understanding and compassion.
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I love this. Sometimes I have felt like I shouldn't take joy in my child because "the other shoe will drop someday" and I may miss something that I was "supposed" to do because I was just relaxing and enjoying. Thank you for writing this Hannah!
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ReplyDeletehttps://drharryherbaltempl.wixsite.com/solutiontemple and he replied , i explained my problem and he sent me his meds to my greatest surprise in less than two weeks of taking the herbs my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 11 inches and i do not have weak erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. EX LOVER BACK/BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND/WIFE/GIRLFRIEND PREMATURE EJACULATION LOW SPERM COUNT ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION HIV/AIDS CURE HERPES CURE INFECTION CURE PILE STROKE HEART FAILURE CANCER You can contact him drharrysolution@gmail.com website link
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How I Got My Husband back... Am so excited to share my testimony of a spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Odu adebayo can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted(WhatsApp) him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 48 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr.odu adebayo If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. you can WhatsApp him(+2347055287754)or Email him at : poweroflovespell@gmail.com.
ReplyDeleteHerbal medicine is the best 💓💓Greetings I am here to testify how great man called Dr OMO helped me out with herbs and roots which he prepared for me in use of curing my fibroids and Getting pregnant after 8 years of try to conceive with fibroids I takes his product (cure for my fibroid made with herbal medicine Root) for (14) days before I am to known I was totally pregnant after 2months of using dr omo herbs he also have Herbal medical for all types of diseases, and i promised him that i will tell the world about his Great job he ask me to drink from the herbal medicine before meeting my husband I did and after 2months I was pregnant thank you for your great job he can also help you if you have a low sperm count you want to convince a baby fast PCOS ,infections, stomach ulcer ,u Endometriosis cancer, yeast infection, Gonorrhea, Chronic Sinus, kidney stone, and infection swollen low testosterone, Herpes, blocked fallopian tubes Liver parasites ovarian cysts Arthritis, pile, Crowns and all other type of diseases, breast cancer, Get lost period back, stop period pain, Email : dromo596@gmail.com WhatsApp him on +2349033505260 thank you..Dr Omo
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ReplyDeleteCHIEF DR LUCKY HERBAL THERAPY
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for curing my Human Papillomavirus (HPV) totally. You are really a Godsent, I promise you that I will always recommend you. and to share your testimony to people. Contact him now thanks all.
CHIEF DR LUCKY HERBAL THERAPY CAN AS WELL CURE THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES :-
1: HIV/AIDS
2: HSV
3: LUPUS
4: ALS
5: HEPATITIS B
6: DIABETES
7: HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS (HPV)
8: CANCER
9: PAD
10: PENIS ENLARGEMENT
11: THYROID ETC..
WhatsApp him on +2348132777335 or email (chiefdrlucky@gmail.com).
Website: https://chiefdrluckyherbaltherapy.wordpress.com/
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I am amazed by Ohikhobo's remedy. I Have had herpes for over 6 years with frequent outbreaks. Sometimes I average 2-3 times per month. Before one breakout could end, the next would begin. Nothing has helped me. I came online in search for a possible way to see how I can fight this virus so I found Ohikhobo here online after seeing a lot of testimonies of how he cured herpes and other diseases with natural herbs so I decided to give it a try I only took his remedy for two weeks and I was completely cured. I recommend Ohikhobo's remedy to anyone suffering from herpes that wants to be completely cured too.
ReplyDeleteEmail: drohikhoboherbalcenter @ gmail com
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I'm 61 years old. I contracted hpv in 2011' I has be taking lot treatment for it and embarrassed some months ago the wart stated coming out seriously, I used lot recommendation because there was lot warts around my anus and was so . but today I'm totally happy I got the virus eliminated by using natural treatment from Dr Onokun herbal center after his treatment I got cured. all the warts went away' seriously believed Dr. Onokun he have the cure for human papillomavirus because he has eliminated hpv been in my body since 2011, Dr. Onokun make it possible for me. Here is Dr. Onokun email: Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com or page at: https://www.facebook.com/naturaltreatmentcenter1 or WhatsApp him via +1 ( 323 ) 689 3594 and Website: Dronokunherbalcure.wordpress.com
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I lost my job few months back and there was no way to get income for my family, things was so tough and I couldn't get anything for my children, not until a met a recommendation on a page writing how Mr Bernie Wilfred helped a lady in getting a huge amount of profit every 6 working days on trading with his management on the cryptocurrency Market, to be honest I never believe it but I took the risk to take a loan of $800 and I contacted him unbelievable and I was so happy I earn $12,500 in 6 working days, the most joy is that I can now take care of my family I don't know how to appreciate your good work Mr. Bernie Doran God will continue to bless you for being a life saver I have no way to appreciate you than to tell people about your good services.
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Living with bad breath same as living in hell, is really disgusting & embarrassing, this has be a big problem to my social lives, well there is a say that, "never give up know matter what you been to just keep pushing",suffering from bad breath in several years, visit dentist, i tried some mouthwash, home remedies, twice day brushing never work for good, i try all the best i know best, but never work for good, till i got multiple comment about this doc, called Dr Erediawa,i mail him & told he about my bad breath, he told me he has solution to my bad breath just has he has cure other persons,i place an Order for his herbal drugs within 3 days i got the herbal drugs via; DHL he gave the instruction which i did as he rightly said, took it for just 3 weeks morning and night, get what i got cure of bad breath, just like miracle this is what i have been fighting for over years an final Dr Erediawa Okoh, get rid of my bad breath with his herbal drugs please help thank the greatest doc, Dr Erediawa, for help and solution to your bad breath contract Dr on his email address drerediawaherbs@gmail.com or drerediawaherblahome.wordpress.com you can whats-app him on his mobile line +2348159412586 or +2347011405191
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI was browsing the Internet searching for help when I came across a testimony shared by someone on how she was cured from Herpes Disease. I quickly contacted him to get the cure. I bought the herbal medicine from the herbal doctor [Robinson Buckler]. I took the herbal medicine for 2 weeks as instructed and i went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise i was cured from Herpes virus. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact this herbal doctor today on this Email address_________________robinsonbuckler@[[yahoo.com]].....Thank you Doctor
[…] It’s a crazy miracle product.. […]
( best herbal remedy… )
Thank you
Hello everyone. Dr Ishiaku herbs is a good remedy for herpes Virus , I was a carrier of herpes virus and I saw a testimony on how Dr. Ishiaku cure Herpes Virus, I decided to contact him, and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. After he finish he sent me the herbs which i took for 2 weeks before asking me to go for a check up and getting there i could not believe that i was confirm HSV 2 Negative after the test, Today i am so happy because I'm free from herpes disease with the help of Dr. Ishiaku . Thank God now everything is fine, I'm cured by Dr. Ishiaku herbal medicine, I'm very thankful to God for making it possible. you can reach him on his email, i strongly recommend him to any one out here looking for a cure to herpes or any other deadly disease...Contact Dr ishiaku via email: ishiakuherbalcure@yahoo.com or whats-app +2348180828544.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU DR ISIKOLO COMING TO MY RESCUE AT MY WORST MOMENTS.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been battling marital issues for the past 6 months and little did I know the family was the brain behind the problems we ever had. The issues escalated and he eventually moved out of the house. I was alone with my daughter and life was miserable without him by my side. I did all I could to end the problems but to no avail. So I had to seek help which led me to contacting DR ISIKOLO. Just as I have always wanted, he heard my cry and came to my aid. He resolved the problems we had and my husband and I came back together and it still amazes me when I get the result in 2 days as he promised. If you are having issues with your partner, contact him now and he won't fail you as well because he is trusted and reliable. email him: isikolosolutionhome@gmail.com or text him via WhatsApp: +2348133261196